Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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