so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
