I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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