she was so not down for the gang bang
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
