Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
