Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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