Did you just see the Batmobile???
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
