Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
