If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
