yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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