My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Randomize
