Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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