part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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