evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I love having hate sex.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
