You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
