Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
whose ass print is on the piano?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
