i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
