I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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