It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
