dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it's like iHOP with fire
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
