I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
