so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
