so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
