: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have aggressive nipples.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
