Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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