NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
