instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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