cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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