Buhtt sex?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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