Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
