I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Are we still banned from the library?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
