Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
