You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
be right there i have to get my cape
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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