i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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