S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
