Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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