whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
