it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
