Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
