would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
