His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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