Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
