She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
