I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
