I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Semen is not good for contacts.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
