Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
