ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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