so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
