I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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