dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
