Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
