either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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